Dark side
by Ainsel3
Summary: Percy had always found Nico's eyes very beautiful, big and so dark that the iris almost merged with the pupil in a single black spot, and now he couldn't endure to see them so swollen and reddened. Then he couldn't understand what this Lucy could have said or done to upset him so much, reluctant to admit this but aware that Nico was all too used to having to deal with the dead.


**This fiction was born from a simple observation: "But Nico can speak with the souls of the dead?" "He can interact with all the dead, even those murdered?"**

**So, this cheerful thought was followed by the observation that, in case of need, Nico definitely will always go by Percy. At least I'm totally convinced of this.**

* * *

Percy initially didn't understand what had awakened him. It was a noise too imperceptible and distant, muffled by the solid wall of the deepest hours of the night. He couldn't say how long he continued to hear it, or when his mind slowly emerged from the sleep's stupor and slipped in the half-sleep's confusion, and only with hindsight he realized that his conscience had been alerted before his awareness.

While his mind was becoming more lucid Percy realized that it wasn't a faint sound as a smothered sound, like a withheld sob. However, he didn't consider seriously the crazy idea that someone had walked into his room in the middle of the night and now he or she was crying. Percy repeated this with firmness, berating himself for having made that ridiculous thought, and he turned on the bedside lamp to ascertain with his own eyes what was happening.

Percy flinched in surprise, feeling distinctly that his heart skipped a beat, when he saw Nico's figure crouched up next to the bed. The boy knew immediately that he had arrived just as he had often done before, taking advantage of the shadows, but that didn't prevent him to get angry.

"Nico! But what the hell..."

His exclamation died when Percy, after passing the fear and confusion of the moment, saw that he was shaken by a violent quake. He was barefoot, Percy noted, and wore a shirt too light for a winter evening. Nico seemed fragile, alone and scared, and even if Percy didn't understand anything about that situation he felt bad to see him like this.

Percy slowly got off the bed and knelt in front of him, gently touching his hair.

"Are you sick?" he asked softly. "Nico, what happened?"

Nico lifted his head up that before had left hidden between his knees, and even though Percy was prepared for this he pressed his lips to see the tears streaming down Nico's face. He had never seen Nico cry like that, he had never seen _anyone_ shed so many tears despite the obvious attempt to suffocate them, and he embraced him before he even think about it.

"It's all right... all right" he whispered.

Percy postponed the questions about what had happened; for now relieved also only because Nico returned his hug, although with such force that he tore him a moan. Nico clung to him with the blatant afraid to let him go, burying the face in Percy's chest. He was still shaking and his sobs had become louder, as if he could no longer contain them.

Without saying anything Percy put an hand on his nape to keep him still closer, completely baffled by that unforeseen situation but resolute to be able to calm him. Percy whispered new reassuring words in Nico's ear, while stroking his back with a slow circular motion of the hand, but the intensity of the crying didn't diminish even when the boy didn't know what to say.

"Nico please, you need to calm down" Percy begged him with more urgent tone, beginning to be frightened by this crisis.

They had met only a week before, when Percy had gone to visit him after learning that Nico had left the Field to return to his father's house in the Underworld. Nico had seemed calm, discouraged that he hadn't been able to bind with someone at the Field but still quiet.

Percy had been irritated that Nico had considered normal that a Hades' child couldn't be accepted by others, and thinking about Nico's quiet resignation now Percy found puzzling the vehemence of that crying.

"... You have a fight with your father?" Percy asked hesitantly, although already certain that the answer would have been negative.

He knew that a crisis of this kind couldn't be generated by a simple brawl with a parent, even considering how Ade could be tough and how Nico wanted to please him. While Nico was trembling in his arms, his laboured breathing interspersed with increasingly violent sobs and sporadic coughing, Percy thought that such a reaction could be caused only by sheer terror.

And, beyond the fear, by a despair that Percy was unable to associate with a possible reason.

"What happened?" he asked again.

There was no answer, but Nico clenched his fingers around the fabric of Percy's shirt with greater force.

Percy sat down slowly on the ground and pulled him onto his lap. Even if he hated himself for this, however, Percy prevented Nico to hide the face in his chest. He grabbed him firmly by the shoulders, forcing him to look up.

"I need to know what happened" Percy said firmly. "Nico please, you're scaring me."

"No... let me go."

It was the first time that Nico opened his mouth, and Percy almost repented having forced him to speak after hearing his voice terribly hoarse. But the boy didn't stop.

"Nico, please. I'm worried about you, you must to tell me..."

"I said no!"

Nico pushed him away so suddenly that Percy was not able to stop him from getting up, but then managed to grab him by the arm before he could move away from the bed. Nico's scream sent a shiver down Percy's spine: lacerating like the boy had never heard before. Even availing of his physical superiority Percy struggled to restrain him when Nico wriggled, and he closed his eyes in pain when the kid began to bombard his chest of punches.

"Let go of me!" Nico shouted, so loud that Percy had the impression that his voice could deafen him.

That sudden anger upset Percy more of the previous crying, now really intimidated by the situation. He understood easily that this fury was under the thumb of fear, that despite the desire to meet him that Nico had felt, the need to not remember what had wounded him it was still stronger.

"I'm sorry... I'll not ask for more" Percy whispered in his ear, stroking his hair. "Now it's all right, do not worry... quiet... it's all ok."

Percy let out a little sigh of relief when Nico stopped struggling and sank back into his embrace, but then shook his lips when he resumed almost immediately to cry.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hit you" Nico sobbed.

"Don't even think about it, it's really all right."

Although Percy had really thought that there was no problem, he wasn't surprised when his mother opened the door of his room: pale and wide-eyed. But, perhaps for the first time in his life, he didn't care for her immediately. Percy met her startled eyes, giving her a brief nod to let her know that they would talk later.

Sally lowered the lamp that she had brandished when the sudden screams from his son's room had abruptly awakened her, while the beating of her heart decreased in intensity. She recognized the figure of Nico in Percy's arms, but for a few seconds stood in the doorway without really being able to accept the scene before her eyes. Sally opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to find something to say, and finally muttered that she was going to prepare hot milk, more to herself than to Percy.

He watched her go, then laid her cheek on Nico's head and closed his eyes.

Percy was looking for a way to resolve the situation, if only to temporarily calm Nico and stop those tears which could have led him to collapse, but with frustration the boy realized he couldn't do anything else but hug him and tell him empty words of comfort that, he realized with consternation, weren't of any use.

Percy had thought that Nico would not have said anything, at least not on his own initiative, and he was surprised to hear his voice.

"... She... is for her."

"She?" Percy repeated, not entirely sure if he understood well that whisper.

Nico nodded imperceptibly, but he said no more. When Percy realized that he could hardly stand on his feet led him to sit on the bed, putting a hand on his cheek to prevent him to hide his face.

"Who is she?" Percy asked, pronouncing each word slowly.

Nico for a moment it seemed next to rebel again, if only to reject his hand and embraces him, but after he forcefully grabbed the hem of Percy's sweatshirt. The boy noticed that his knuckles were white with the effort, but when he tried to tell him not to tighten so hard Nico spoke again.

"Lucy..." he said, clearly making a huge effort. "Her name was Lucy."

Percy immediately grasped the use of the verb past, starting to get a first, vaguely plausible idea of what could have happened.

"She is a soul that you met while you were with your father?" he asked. "Have you seen Lucy in the Underworld?"

The boy realized that his intuition was correct when Nico stiffened, but he struggled not to look away from his eyes full of sorrow. Percy had always found Nico's eyes very beautiful, big and so dark that the iris almost merged with the pupil in a single black spot, and now he couldn't endure to see them so swollen and reddened.

Then he couldn't understand what this Lucy could have said or done to upset him so much, reluctant to admit this but aware that Nico was all too used to having to deal with the dead, and in such a state of uncertainty Percy was only able to hug him again.

For a few minutes they remained that way, immersed in a silence accompanied only by the sobs that filled the air with almost regular cadence. Percy had never stopped to think that Nico would end up feeling sick to cry continuously in that way so violent, but he was taken by surprise when the kid suddenly broke free of his grasp and ran out of the room.

Percy immediately followed him, disturbed by his behaviour but determined to look sure of himself. The bathroom light was on, and once entered Percy immediately knelt by Nico's side when he saw him slumped on the floor to puking.

"It's okay, breathe and pulls out everything" he said, rubbing Nico's back with a circular motion. "It's normal a bit of nausea after a cry so loud. Now you will feel better."

Percy stood watching until Nico didn't begin to throw up only bile nervous, coughing and straining himself to do so, and after a brief moment of hesitation Percy decided not to force him to stop even though he was certain that in that way Nico would hurt his throat. He continued to stroke his back, feeling the bitterness along with the concern and also a form of anger at himself.

He hated not understand anything and can't _do_ anything to help him, as well as he detested to see Nico reduced in this way much more than he would have thought possible.

When he stopped coughing Percy gently put a hand on his forehead, and he wasn't surprised to hear his skin burn. Even when he had embraced him he had noticed that, in spite of the tremors, Nico's body was very hot, but Percy didn't believe even for a moment that this could be a normal fever.

"Now it is really necessary that you manage to calm down - he said firmly. "You are too rough and this is hurting you. You must absolutely stop crying, okay? It doesn't matter if you don't want to talk to me, just try to take deep breaths and relax."

As Percy spoke he had wiped the traces of tears from Nico's cheeks with the thumb, trying to give at his gesture a movement reassuring. Percy was now convinced that Nico could control himself, that the worst were to be passed, and he felt overwhelmed by discouragement when Nico returned instead to cry as before.

"Nico, please..."

"They had snatched her tongue to keep her from crying... she wanted to cry but she couldn't do it."

Percy wanted to believe with all his heart that he had hearing bad those words, but even if suddenly he struggled much more than before to swallow properly he forced himself to look Nico. The kid had grabbed his arm with both hands, clinging to him with all his strength. He was clutching so tightly that it hurt, but Percy didn't dare complain.

"You're talking about Lucy?" the boy asked softly.

Nico didn't seem to hear him. Even though he was staying at Percy's side he had never looked up from the ground, and as well as earlier he had violently refused to talk now the words began to flow from his lips without brakes. Percy would have been happy for this, if only he had not been terrified by what Nico was saying and if his shrift hadn't seemed like a uncontrollably claptrap.

"They have kept her in that place for weeks before killing her. Lucy said she doesn't know how long exactly because the pain was so much that one day seemed like forever and so... she doesn't know how long. She doesn't even know who those men were, she was returning home after school when they caught her... and they wounded her, Percy. they wounded her so much. Why human beings should do this to another person?"

"Nico, that's enough..."

"... She liked to run. She told me that she liked, she ran every morning before going to school along the shore of the river. But they have broken her legs and then she... she could no longer..."

"Now shut up!"

Even though rationally he knew it was a wrong attitude Percy yelled with aggressive tone, and when Nico seemed frightened the boy hugged him as he had never done; barely aware that he too, this time, was trying to calm down with that embrace.

Percy was sickened by this story, shocked and disgusted. And full of rage. He was trembling with anger against some men that he didn't even know and, above all, towards Hades. Percy couldn't conceive that he had been so careless as to allow Nico to interact with the souls of people who died in a brutal manner, as not to understand that his son would never have been able to ignore a girl so full of pain and hatred to want to tell someone what she had suffered.

Percy didn't know the details and didn't want to know them, he thought vaguely that he probably could have read about her in the pages of crime news, instead he had to call up all his self-control not to go to the house of Hades and attack him at that precise moment.

"I know it's hard, but you have groped to think about other things - he said, whispering into the ear of Nico. - What you heard was horrible... you don't know how much I wish I could help you forget about everything."

"Forget?"

For the first time Percy saw a real lucidity in Nico's expression, no longer under the thumb of fear and anxiety but capable of reasoning in full consciousness. He was relieved, at least for this, but Nico's accusation wounded him.

"A girl was kidnapped and tortured for weeks before being killed, this can't be forgotten!" he shouted. "I don't... I had never seen a soul so desperate, you can't know how much she is destroyed. I can't forget her, I can't!"

He uttered the last words as if he wanted to admonish himself, and in a flash Percy realized that beyond any other feeling Nico from the beginning had been tortured by remorse, full of disgust towards that part of himself that had wanted to silence the girl and hadn't been able to try only affliction for her.

Who had detested her, probably, for have said to him this story.

"You mustn't believe that it's wrong to be afraid of evil" Percy said slowly, putting a hand on his head to stroke his hair. "It's human being shocked by a horrible story, there is nothing wrong if you want to plug your ears not to hear.

Nico jerked away and looked at him with disapproval.

"That's not fair!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking.

Percy let out a deep breath. He was relieved that the most violent part of the crisis seemed to have passed, but he was nervous in front of a topic so controversial with a kid still obviously upset.

However, he also remembered that Nico had gone only from him in time of need; and this was enough to give him all the confidence he needed.

"No, maybe it isn't" he said. "But it is also human to worry about the people we care. What interests me is that you're okay Nico, just that. I'm really sorry for this girl but I don't want you to suffer for her. If you feel guilty, you just have to think that I'm the one asking you to forget."

Although he had hoped for the opposite Percy had expected that Nico would come back to cry, but immediately he noticed that his tears were falling more weakly.

Nico seemed more exhausted than upset, and even if Percy couldn't know how he would react the next day now he was content that for this night the fatigue was having the upper hand.

Sighing again Percy shook his hand and pulled him to his feet to lead him back into the bedroom. But once out of the bathroom the boy ran into his mother, standing at the kitchen door, and for the first time Nico seemed to register her presence.

With his free hand rubbed his eyes, pulling up the nose.

"I'm sorry for the trouble" he said. "I..."

"I prepared some hot milk" Sally interrupted him, smiling quiet. "Can I also add the cocoa if you prefer."

She didn't ask him anything, and Percy was grateful for this. He looked at her eloquently to let her know that at the appropriate time he would explain everything. Percy realized, however, that her proposal had left Nico disoriented, probably still too shocked to think of something normal like drinking something, and he hastened to intervene.

"In a few minutes I will come to pick up the cups in the kitchen" he assured her. "Now I would prefer to return to my room."

Sally nodded without another word, merely smiling when Nico looked at her hesitantly before following Percy. Even if he wanted to reciprocate her smile he couldn't do it, torn by remorse at the only thought.

Although rationally Nico realized that it made no sense to feel guilty about giving or receiving a kind gesture, he couldn't help but think that Lucy could no longer do anything. Don't smile, don't drink anything hot, don't be embraced by someone she loved.

Nico felt his eyes again filled with tears, but he tried to send them back for fear that Percy would lose patience. However, another part of himself _wanted_ exactly that the guy got tired of him, he had wanted this from the first moment as much as he wanted to stay in Percy's arms; and while Nico was lost in that contradiction his head began to hurt.

"Hey, for tonight no more difficult thoughts."

Nico slowly raised his eyes when Percy stroked his face with the back of the hand, but he was unable to nod to this kind words. He didn't even know how to explain what he felt : that painful sense of guilt with his illogical impulse to mitigate it by preventing himself to feel good, in stark contrast with the need to feel reassured that in a world where such horrors happening there was also the good. And then the terror for the thought that human beings could be so ferocious in destroying another person; the sadness and the loss.

Yet, Nico had the impression that Percy had guessed everything.

The boy took a few seconds to secure him intensely, then his expression became relaxed; as if he had no longer any uncertainty.

"The plan for the future is that now you will sit in bed. Then you will drink warm milk and until dawn we'll see every romantic, really stupid movie that we can find in my mother's collection - he said. - For now, despite the fatigue you're still too nervous to fall asleep, but after a marathon like this you will fall immediately. I'm not asking you to do and to be honest I'm not at all interested in your opinion, is what I want."

As he spoke Percy had never stopped to look at him. although Nico noticed a hint of sadness in his smile, he also read a firmness that helped him to nod.

"I'm sorry for the trouble" he whispered.

Nico had felt the need to repeat it even though Sally had been categorical in rejecting his apology, and he was ashamed when he realized that he had spoken that way to get the hug Percy gave him.

Nico considered even pathetic to feel safe only in that way, but that night he don't found the strength to pretend not to want it more than anything else. 


End file.
